Welcome friends. A Jug of White Daisies is about my life and all the thoughts that come to me while I'm walking, doing the dishes, having a shower or hanging washing on the line - some of my regular activities that give me time to think. It's about all the things that make up my life - cooking, cleaning, creating, loving, learning, discovering, rolling my eyes, sighing, smiling, forgiving, making do, making the most of, looking up, gardening, hugging, being. It's about the things that I make for sale, fabulous finds, the wisdom and beauty in the world, and it's about stopping to admire the simple perfection of daisies.
And in amongst all the thinking and writing about that, I'll be doing it all, and more, so if you don't see me for a day or two, please send chocolate.
April 24, 2012
I have had a whole swag of attempts - you know those pictures of brains and all that curly surface? That's my journey: around and around, up hill and down dale, curves, diversions, dead ends, around a bit more, over and under, forging ahead and around a bit more. But always with the sense that I am looking for a better life than my current location would have me believe is my lot in life. Not that I have been discontent my whole life or I'm not grateful for my many and varied blessings and experiences. I have had my share of excellence and goodness. And I can't say that I would like to change any of my past, because I am a sum of my blessings and experiences, guilty moments, choices, journeys, hardships, lessons, loves and losses and all the people who have had an influence on me in any way. It all counts.
But ... yeah, I know, there is always a but ;-) But... I expect better of myself. And that is what drives me. I know I am not being the best I can be. I'm there with me in the dark moments, and I know what's going on here people. My children's paediatrician said to me once, "Don't worry. In my experience, if you are worried about your parenting, then you are doing OK. It's the people who don't even worry about it that are the ones to worry about." He was right of course. If we are not even questioning ourselves, then we are lost. But that doesn't mean I can't strive to do and be better. Just stop beating myself up about the whole not being perfect thing. And not just with parenting. I see that doctor's statement as wisdom for the whole of life. I could worry endlessly about everything, but then I'd never have time to notice how beautiful a simple jug of white daisies on my table is.
And so my journey continues.
love Heather x
Every step is one step closer to who I thought I would be when I was 16.